What should I include in my engagement speech?

Your speech should include: an opening greeting and thanks to both families, one or two admirable qualities of your partner with a brief anecdote, special recognition of your in-laws acknowledging where your partner's values come from, and finally the toast looking toward your future together. Keep the tone sincere, positive, and personal.

How long should my engagement toast be?

Aim for 2 to 4 minutes. A speech that's too short may seem cold and impersonal, while one that's too long risks losing your audience's attention. Practice reading your speech aloud multiple times before the event to nail the timing and build confidence.

What tone should I use for my speech?

Strike a balance between heartfelt emotion and elegance. Your speech should be touching but not overly sentimental, humorous but appropriate, humble yet confident. Avoid excessive irony and ensure any humor is universally relatable, not based on private jokes. The best speeches sound natural, like talking with close friends.

When should I give my speech during dinner?

The traditional timing is after everyone has been served their meal or at the end of dinner, just before or after dessert. Coordinate with your hosts to confirm the exact timing. Never speak while people are still eating, as it's difficult for them to give you their full attention.

What are the biggest mistakes I should avoid?

Key mistakes include: winging it without preparation, speaking longer than 5 minutes, sharing embarrassing stories, having too much alcohol beforehand, focusing only on yourself or only on your partner, and maintaining a negative or complaining tone. Prepare a script, practice multiple times, and keep the focus on celebrating the union of two families.

Engagement Speech: What to Say (and What Not To) in Front of Your Spanish In-Laws

The moment has arrived. The engagement dinner, that deeply rooted tradition in Spain, is just around the corner. You've probably been thinking for days about the menu, what you're going to wear, and above all, the toast. Feeling a knot in your stomach is completely normal. Suddenly, all eyes will turn to you, expecting words that match the occasion, especially those of your future in-laws.

We know the pressure can be overwhelming. You want to sound eloquent but not artificial. You want to show your love but not be cheesy. And above all, you want to win over your new political family by demonstrating that you're the perfect person for their son or daughter. If the idea of public speaking gives you anxiety, take a deep breath. You're in the right place.

This guide is designed for you, to help you navigate this moment with calm and confidence.

Understanding the Purpose of the Engagement Speech

Before writing a single word, it's essential to understand what's expected of this toast. It's not a speech to win an award, but a symbolic act that serves several important purposes.

The "Why" of Your Words

Honor the families: The toast is a public display of respect and gratitude toward both families.
Celebrate love and union: The core of your speech is celebrating the decision you've made as a couple.
Formalize the commitment: Your words serve as a formal declaration of your intentions to marry.
Create a bridge between families: Your speech can act as a catalyst to break the ice and unite both sides.

The 6 Mistakes You Must Avoid at All Costs

1. Completely Improvising

Nerves can make you go blank or ramble without a clear point.

The solution: Prepare a script or at least an outline with the key points you want to touch on.

2. Being Too Long or Too Short

A speech that drags on can make guests lose interest. On the other hand, a toast of barely ten seconds can seem cold.

The solution: Aim for a duration of 2 to 4 minutes.

3. Telling Private Jokes or Embarrassing Stories

That hilarious anecdote from your first trip to Ibiza may not be appropriate to tell in front of your partner's grandmother.

The solution: Choose universal and endearing anecdotes.

4. Talking Only About Yourself or Only About Your Partner

The toast is about the union, about "us."

The solution: Use inclusive language. Talk about "our future," "what we've built together."

5. Overdoing the Alcohol Before Speaking

A glass of wine can help calm your nerves, but three or four can lead you to say things you'll regret.

The solution: Limit your alcohol consumption before the toast.

6. Being Negative or Complaining

Avoid any negative comments, even if in a joking tone.

The solution: Keep a positive and optimistic tone at all times.

The Perfect Structure for Your Speech (Step by Step)

Step 1: The Greeting and Initial Thanks

"Good evening everyone. First of all, [Partner's name] and I want to thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, [In-laws' names] for welcoming us into your home and for organizing this wonderful dinner."

Step 2: A Few Words About Your Partner

Focus on one or two qualities you deeply admire. For example: "Since I met [Name], they've taught me the true meaning of generosity" or "I admire their ability to find the good side of things, even in difficult moments."

Add a mini-anecdote: "I remember one time that..., and at that moment I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life by their side."

Step 3: A Nod to the New Family (Your In-Laws)

"[To the in-laws] Thank you. Because now I understand where [Name] gets their huge heart and loyalty. These are the values you've taught them and that I hope we can pass on together in the future."

Step 4: The Toast and Looking to the Future

"I'm very excited to start this new chapter and for everything we're going to build together. I know that with the support of two incredible families, our path will be wonderful. So please, raise your glasses and let's toast to love, to the families that have united us, and to our future together. Cheers!"

What If Nerves Get the Best of Me?

Practice, practice, and practice more: Read your speech out loud several times.
Bring a cheat sheet: There's nothing wrong with having some notes.
Take a deep breath: Just before standing up, take three deep breaths.
Speak slowly: When we're nervous, we tend to speed up.
Find a friendly face: Seek eye contact with your partner or someone who supports you.
Remember: it's a happy moment: You're at a celebration, surrounded by people who love you.

Think of this speech as a gift you offer to your partner and your families. It's not about perfection, but about the intention and feeling behind your words.

Engagement Speech: What to Say to Your In-Laws (and What Not To)