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The Engagement Dinner: A Tradition Full of Meaning

Discover everything about the engagement dinner: its tradition, tips for organizing it and how to adapt it to your style to make it unforgettable.

Wedded Team
Family engagement dinner

The Engagement Dinner: A Tradition Full of Meaning

You've just said "Yes!" and you're on cloud nine. It's a magical moment, full of promises and dreams. But after the initial excitement, the question arises: how do we share the news with our families? In Spain, the answer is usually "the engagement dinner."

Perhaps it seems a bit formal or old-fashioned, and you might have some doubts: is it still relevant? What does it entail? How can you organize it without stress? Don't worry, we're here to help. Think of us as that friend or older sister who's already been through this and wants to share everything you need to know to make this moment as unique as your love story.

In this article, we'll explore the meaning of the engagement dinner, its origin, how to adapt it to your style, and practical tips to make it an unforgettable occasion.

The Origin of the Engagement Dinner

Understanding its roots helps us appreciate why it remains important today. In the past, a marriage proposal was more than just a dinner; it was a formal pact between families.

The groom, accompanied by his parents, would visit the bride's home to ask her father for her hand in marriage. This act was not only romantic but also represented a social and economic agreement between two families. The bride's father's acceptance sealed the engagement and marked the beginning of the wedding preparations.

Although romance has replaced formality, the spirit of family unity is still essential to this tradition.

The Engagement Dinner Today: A Celebration of Commitment

Times have changed. Today, a marriage proposal is usually an intimate moment between the couple. However, the tradition of celebrating the engagement with the families remains alive, adapted to current values.

The engagement dinner is now an opportunity for the families to get to know each other and celebrate together. It is no longer a formal request, but an announcement and a party that unites both families in a relaxed and happy atmosphere. It's a beautiful bridge between the past and the future, honoring the importance of family while celebrating modern love.

Organization and Costs: Current Flexibility

Previously, the bride's parents organized and paid for the dinner at home. Today, the rules are more flexible. Some common options are:

  • Restaurant Dinner: Ideal for avoiding logistical complications. Choose a special place with a private space.

  • The couple organizes and pays: An increasingly common option to show independence.

  • Shared Expenses: Families can divide the costs and work as a team from the start.

The important thing is to find an approach that works for everyone. There are no right or wrong formulas.

How to Plan the Engagement Dinner

  1. Decide on the type of celebration: A formal dinner, an informal brunch, or even a barbecue.

  2. Choose a date and budget: Make sure it's convenient for both families. If you're looking for inspiration on the best time of year to get married, you can consult our guide to the best seasons to get married in Spain, where we analyze how the weather affects the type of celebration.

  3. Choose the venue: Home, a restaurant, or a place that's special to you. If you're looking for more formal venue options, our ultimate guide to wedding venues will help you compare hotels, estates, and castles for future celebrations.

  4. Send invitations in advance: Call your immediate family members personally.

  5. Decide on the menu: Whether homemade or at a restaurant, make sure it's something everyone will enjoy.

  6. Pay attention to the details: Flowers, soft music, or small favors can add a special touch. 7. Enjoy the Moment: On the day of the event, leave your worries aside and focus on celebrating.

Modern Adaptations and Regional Variations

The engagement dinner has evolved to suit current tastes:

  • Themed Proposals: In a winery, with a sea view, or in a place that is meaningful to you both.

  • Informal Celebrations: Brunch, cocktails, or outdoor gatherings.

  • Surprise Announcement: Some couples organize the dinner without revealing the reason and announce their engagement during the evening.

Furthermore, customs vary by region, from intimate events to larger celebrations. Adapt this tradition to your preferences and circumstances.

More Than a Tradition: A Meaningful Beginning

The engagement dinner is not just a celebration; it is the beginning of the union between two families. For your parents, it symbolizes their support and joy for your engagement. For you, this is the first event you're organizing together, a rehearsal for the team you'll form in the future.

Beyond the formalities, this moment is filled with emotion, family, and love. It's a memory you'll cherish forever, like the first step on your journey to the altar.

Frequently Asked Questions

The engagement dinner is a Spanish tradition where both families gather to celebrate the couple's engagement. It serves as an opportunity for the families to meet, officially announce the engagement, and begin planning the wedding together in a festive and relaxed atmosphere.
The cost varies depending on the format: dinner at home (€50-€80 per person), restaurant (€80-€150 per person), or a special venue like a winery (€100-€200 per person). For 10-15 guests, the total budget is usually between €800 and €2,500, depending on the venue and menu chosen.
Traditionally, the bride's parents paid, but today the options are flexible: the couple can organize and pay for it to show independence, the families can split the costs, or each family can pay their share. The important thing is to agree on it in advance to avoid any awkwardness.
Ideally, the pre-wedding celebration should be organized between one and three months after the engagement, once the initial excitement has subsided and you have time to plan it properly. It should be done before starting the formal wedding preparations so that the families can be involved from the beginning.
It's not mandatory; it's a tradition you can adapt to your style or even omit. Many modern couples opt for informal celebrations (brunch, cocktails) or simply gather their families without formal protocol. The important thing is that both families meet and celebrate your engagement in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

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The Engagement Dinner: A Tradition Full of Meaning | Wedded Blog