Engagement Speech: What to Say (and What Not to Say) in Front of Your Spanish In-Laws

The moment has arrived. The engagement dinner, that deeply rooted Spanish tradition, is just around the corner. You've probably spent days thinking about the menu, what you're going to wear, and, above all, the toast. Feeling butterflies in your stomach is completely normal. Suddenly, all eyes will be on you, waiting for words that live up to the occasion, especially those of your future in-laws.

We know the pressure can be overwhelming. You want to sound eloquent, but without seeming artificial. You want to show your love, but without being cheesy. And, above all, you want to win over your new in-laws by demonstrating that you're the perfect person for their son or daughter. If the idea of public speaking makes you anxious, take a deep breath. You're in the right place.

This guide is designed for you, to help you navigate this moment with calm and confidence.

Understanding the Purpose of Your Engagement Speech

Before writing a single word, it's crucial to understand what's expected of this toast. It's not a speech to win an award, but a symbolic act that serves several important purposes.

The "Why" of Your Words

1. Honoring the Families: The toast is a public expression of respect and gratitude toward both families.

2. Celebrating Love and Union: The core of your speech is to celebrate the decision you've made as a couple.

3. Formalizing the Commitment: Your words serve as a formal declaration of your intention to marry.

4. Building a Bridge Between the Families: Your speech can act as a catalyst to break the ice and bring the two families together.

The 6 Mistakes You Must Avoid at All Costs

1. Completely Improvising

Nerves can cause you to draw a blank or ramble without a clear point.

The solution: Prepare a script or, at least, an outline with the key points you want to cover.

2. Being too long or too short

A speech that drags on can cause guests to lose interest. On the other hand, a toast of barely ten seconds can seem cold.

The solution: Aim for a duration of between 2 and 4 minutes.

3. Telling inside jokes or embarrassing stories

That funny anecdote from your first trip to Ibiza might not be appropriate to tell in front of your partner's grandmother.

The solution: Choose universal and endearing anecdotes.

4. Talking only about yourself or only about your partner

The toast is about unity, about "us."

The solution: Use inclusive language. Talk about "our future," "what we have built together."

5. Drinking Too Much Before Speaking

A glass of wine can help calm your nerves, but three or four can lead you to say things you'll regret.

The solution: Limit your alcohol consumption before the toast.

6. Being Negative or Complaining

Avoid any negative comments, even if they're meant as a joke.

The solution: Maintain a positive and optimistic tone throughout.

The Perfect Structure for Your Speech (Step by Step)

Step 1: The Initial Greeting and Thank You

"Good evening, everyone. First of all, [Name of fiancé/fiancée] and I would like to sincerely thank [Names of in-laws] for welcoming us into your home and for organizing this wonderful dinner."

Step 2: A Few Words About Your Partner

Focus on one or two qualities you deeply admire. For example: "Since I met [Name], they've taught me the true meaning of generosity" or "I admire their ability to find the silver lining, even in difficult times."

Add a mini-anecdote: "I remember once... and at that moment I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them."

Step 3: The nod to the new family (your in-laws)

"[To the in-laws] Thank you. Because now I understand where [Name] gets their enormous heart and loyalty from. These are the values you've instilled in them, and I hope we can continue to pass them on together in the future."

Step 4: The Toast and a Look to the Future

"I'm so excited to begin this new chapter and for everything we're going to build together. I know that with the support of two such incredible families, our journey will be wonderful. So, please raise your glasses and let's toast to love, to the families that have brought us together, and to our future together. Cheers!"

What if I'm feeling nervous?

1. Practice, practice, and practice some more: Read your speech aloud several times.

2. Bring a cheat sheet: There's nothing wrong with having notes.

3. Take a deep breath: Just before you stand up, take three deep breaths.

4. Speak slowly: When we're nervous, we tend to speak faster.

5. Find a friendly face: Make eye contact with your partner or someone who supports you.

6. Remember: This is a happy moment: You're celebrating, surrounded by people who love you.

Think of this speech as a gift you're giving to your partner and your families. It's not about perfection, but about the intention and feeling behind your words.